How do you balance??

This is might be a rambling blog I should warn you.  I know I'm not the only one that is overwhelmed with the holiday season but this year seems particularly crazy.  The running is taking a hit hardcore.  There is no running to be had in the mix of duties, obligations and responsibilities of my life. UGH!!

How do you balance?

In all the qualities that we as women can have - beauty, intelligence, poise, compassion - it is the ability to balance their lives that I respect, and can honestly admit, COVET the most!!! I want to do it all but just can't find the time.  It is a heartwrenching day to try to get it all done - walk the dogs, get the dogs to the groomers, finish the laundry for the young one, figure out what to make for dinner AND then make it, get the puppy to training classes, finish my GOTR blog, get the GOTR newsletter done, spend at least some time with honey that doesn't involve talking about what we need to get accomplished around the house, talk to my sister because I didn't talk to her all weekend and she is my ROCK so I HAVE to make it fit in there somewhere, send a thank you for my little sisters sweet Christmas present, answer all my emails, return two phone calls, is it lunch yet??

As I've gotten older I've learned to prioritze better than I could when I was in my twenties.  I know that the laundry WILL get done and I can walk away from the pile on the floor to watch a movie with my family.  But somewhere along the way that learned wisdom brought with it the need for MORE sleep.  In my twenties I could go on 4 hours a sleep a night, now if I do that I need 4 cups of coffee and I'm still in bed by 9pm!

My life is so great! I'm so thankful to have a wonderful guy, his terrifically unique, smart & fun children, extended family who stay connected, friends who support and believe in me, my bills paid, food on my table every evening and opportunities that are endless.  So when I start to feel this way and want to whine about it I KNOW I'm blessed way beyond others and tell myself to grab my bootstraps and quit being ungrateful!

But the fact is it's still hard.  And I know its important to ackowledge that struggle because I'm not the only one having a hard time balancing, young girls are struggling too. 

The Girl Box, what society says our young girls should be, tells us we SHOULD be able to balance our lives. That girls should balance being a pretty social butterfly, being a straight A student, being well listening attentive daughters, being super star athletes, being everything we want them to be and doing it quickly, quietly with a smile on their faces.  As a woman my "Girl Box" says I should be a multi-tasking mother, a loyal wife, a force to be reckoned with in my career, size 4, AND still find time for myself. 

I don't know what the answer is to finding a balance in our lives.  I don't know how I will ever find the time to get it all done.  That's not why I wrote this blog - I wrote it to say, "Girls you are not the only ones struggling to do it all in your lives.  Please don't turn to drugs, or alcohol to ease the pain, to quick sex to get boys to like you, to cutting or throwing up. Please know you are not alone in trying to find a way to make your lives work, to be true to yourself and make the people around you happy too." 

I'm going keep making my to do lists.  I'm going to keep trying to get it done.  I'm going to keep prioritizing.  I'm going to find the time to run.  It may not be today or even tomorrow but I will run again.  And today when the balancing act wears me out I will get 5 things done on the list and be proud of myself! We are making a worthy effort and that counts!  Because we have ackowledged our own limits and can stand strong and say, "this is who I am and this is what I will get done today " we have given the strain and stress of  the "Girl Box" no power over us.  We will be the best balancers our lives have ever seen and we will do it by our own measures of success.

For 40 minutes

Like almost all Happy Valleyians my life changed on Monday as the "Sandusky Scandal" broke and all over our beautiful countryside sadness descended.  I got up, got moving and headed to the gym to get in a morning run. I started in at a steady pace with a sincere desire to burn through some of the stress!

That plan quickly got derailed as Jerry Sandusky stepped onto the nearby stairclimber.  It was a moment of shock. I nearly fell off the treadmill because my mind froze and body clenched so solidly I couldn't move.   That moment will stand still in my memory for the rest of my life. 

I recovered quickly, I think the denial kicked in and my body just reacted.  I didn't make eye contact, I didn't say a word, I just kept running. 

For 40 minutes I thought about what I would say, SHOULD say to the man.  For 40 mins I thought about the victims, I felt the waves of emotions - shock, sadness, disgust, anger.  I wiped both sweat and tears. I prayed for healing and justice.  And for 40 mins I thought about what an awe inspiring honor it is to have young people entrusted into your care.  An honor to be allowed to impart knowledge and even in the smallest way shape a child's vision of all their future could hold.

I took that 40 minute run on the treadmill on Monday morning and got more than a good workout.  I got a solid resolve. A resolve that one man's choices WILL NOT hinder the good works I am trying to do with Girls on the Run of Happy Valley!  I got a resolve to make sure checks and balances are in place, that thoroughly interviewing volunteers will never be pushed down the priority list, that following processes and procedures to the letter isn't EVER being too diligent, and listening to the children is never a waste of time.

As the treadmill slowed and my workout ended, I didn't make eye contact, I didn't say all the things I'd rehearsed in my head.   My resolve and I turned our back on shock, sadness, disgust, anger and reaching for my GOTR water bottle we walked out into the beautiful valley with a commitment to the future.

Nov. 1st! WOW time flies. . .

when you are having fun!  This has been a tremendous last few weeks for GOTR of Happy Valley.  With Carol's and my attendance at training in Charlotte we really had our minds and hearts filled with everything GOTR! 

i know this blog is about my personal journey to get back in my sneakers BUT I can't share the aches and pains of my 36yr old knees without telling you how cool it was to meet everyone at GOTR International.  The creation of our council now seems so real!  Our first 2 hours of training was spent with Molly Barker, the founder of GOTR.  She's so normal, she's so sweet and funny, she's open and approachable! We want her to come visit our girls when we get up and running! We were inspired, we were touched to the center of us with the heartfelt love she has for what she does and the complete commitment she has to making a difference in the lives of young girls. Being a part of something bigger than ourselves, being a part of creating an avenue for girls to learn to like themselves is an enormous responsibility with an enormous capacity for joy!  That's what has made me get out of bed each morning and get on that treadmill! 

I'm up to 2 miles a day on the treadmill and another 2 miles walking my pooches.  So, here I come girls we will do this 5k together!!

What it's all about

When I decided to commit myself to bringing a GOTR Council to Happy Valley I'll be honest I wondered if I was the right person to do it . .  I can't make it up the last little hill walking my dogs each evening without breaking a sweat! How could I ever mentor young girls to run???? SO, that's what this blog is all about - my personal journey to get back in shape, to be healthy enough to run with our girls on the run!!
Follow me through the beginning stages of getting back in my sneakers to doing the 5K we will hold in Spring 2012 in celebratioin of our first group of girls and their program completion.